Annotated Table of Contents

Will the Vampire People Please Leave the Lobby? is an introduction to how I became interested in online communities, common negative stereotypes about fans of cult television (that we are sexless dorks), and the lovely sense of acceptance that could be found by way of broadband internet access and finding like-minded souls.

Minearest and Dearest: The people who produced the television shows I adored enjoyed a cult-like following usually reserved for actors. They had fan clubs and signed autographs, often commanding huge audiences at conventions. Tim Minear is one of my writing heroes, and this essay is about how he became part of my adopted family of internet junkies, while getting over the oddly skewed deference involved in hero worship.

Gay Wedding Tree: I met Kat and Lori on a message board called Buffistas.org, and was surprised that they lived less than ten miles away from me. We became great friends, and when the City of San Francisco started handing out marriage licenses, Kat and Lori decided to get hitched. They rented a mansion in the mountains in order to renew their vows with their closest friends in attendance, and I was a bridesmaid. All but a small handful of guests at the wedding had all met on the web. Though it was a same-sex couple and all of us were connected by fandom, it was one of the most traditional sort of family reception I'd ever attended.

Safe Harbor from Ann Arbor: The first time I met my dear friend ita was when she arrived at my door to live with me for a few months while she got settled in Los Angeles. She was a regular at a message board I frequented, and for some unknown reason, I trusted that she wouldn't kill me in my sleep. I didn't know ita's last name until she was almost unpacked, two hours later.

Celebrity Pussy: Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator, Joss Whedon, won an Oscar for Toy Story, was celebrated for his turn at writing the X-men comic, and enjoys an enormous cult following on the 'net. When his cat Vinnie caused an allergic reaction in his newborn son, he needed to find a home for her, fast. His assistant pawned the task off on me. The trick was, Whedon couldn't find out that a fan was adopting out his cat, because his assistant feared he'd hit the roof. It all worked out fine in the end, but to this day, he has no idea that a pair of Buffy fans in Northern California now own his cat, and have renamed her, "Meow Meow Kitty."

Save Firefly: I staged a campaign to save a television show I didn't even really like all that much. I wrote the copy for an ad that appeared in Daily Variety, raised five-thousand dollars to place the ad, worked behind-the-scenes with a producer to help direct the campaign, and turned a group of angry, confused fans into a well-oiled PR machine. Did I mention I didn't really like the show very much? I didn't save the show, but I did get to pilot a spaceship. Included in the essay is a primer on what gets a show canceled, anyway.

Joss Whedon High Stakes Fundraiser for Kerry/Edwards: When a group of minor celebrities gather to raise funds for a Presidential campaign, it's both sad and hilarious. I was there as a reporter, but no one would allow me to write anything down for fear that someone would "pull a Whoopi Goldberg" and say something embarrassing. At least the cheese platters were delicious. This piece was originally published online at www.popgurls.com.

Munchausen's by Internet:A woman claiming to have a dying child dupes one of the most storied online communities on the 'net into an outpouring of sympathy and hand-wringing. Her story is so compelling the writers on the Buffy staff offer gifts to help ease her pain. Those of us with more cynical natures quietly gather at a super-secret message board to pull a Woodward and Bernstein and investigate the woman's claims. As it turned out, she had no children at all and had been fired from a previous job for stealing computer equipment. Once the facts were presented to the community, she quickly vanished, and we were all a little more suspicious of newbies.

The Misery Effect: Like the delusional character in the novel by Stephen King, sometimes fans can get a little too attached to character on a television show. When a story doesn't go the way a group of fans feel is "right," instead of changing the channel, they sometimes commit what amounts to a jihad on the show's writers. I spoke to Buffy writers Jane Espenson and David Fury, as well as Angel writer Tim Minear about their thoughts on negative fan reaction to the stories they told through television, and about whether fans hold any power over the direction of those stories.

Random Acts of Paypal: At some of the lowest times in my life, strangers on the internet have lifted me up from the pit of despair. I've received flowers, a DVD player, books, gift certificates to spas, and got two different jobs due to the generosity of my fellow fans. Call it Karma, I've run fundraisers for charity through my own Paypal account, and collected enough in donations to bring a beloved fan from Israel to visit five cities in order to meet the people on the 'net who helped her practice English and kept her company through suicide bombings and her PhD thesis.

The Bronze Is Dead. Long Live the Bronze!: When my favorite message board was taken over by an inept web marketing agency and turned into an ugly, disorganized mess, I raised a ruckus so large that a network executive met with me in a dark bar in West Hollywood to try and appease the angry mob of disgruntled fans. Like all of my previous campaigns to get some respect for fans, I failed miserably.

Party Politics: The fandom raised close to one-hundred thousand dollars for various charities over the years by organizing fundraising parties. Actors and producers attended these posting board parties, donating items to the charity auction and signing autographs. These events were always planned and hosted by a small committee of fans. The committee who ran the annual Posting Board Party held a great deal of power within the fandom, and with great power came even greater amounts of backstabbing and intrigue. By the sixth year, a peace treaty between warring Buffy fan-factions took place at Mel's Diner in West Hollywood, and we raised more money for charity than the previous three years, combined. Two years later, the head of the party committee was indicted for a savings and loan scandal of some sort, the community fractured into tiny pieces, and I lost my mind trying to reclaim past glory.